It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Randomize
