i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
