; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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