She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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