Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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