I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
