O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
