do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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