So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
