She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
