Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
So much rum. So many feels.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
