You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
