i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Randomize
