I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
