If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
