dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
