SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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