Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
