am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
