Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he thought i was a dude.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
