perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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