I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize