When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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