I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
