dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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