Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
