I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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