I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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