she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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