That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We left the knife in your bed.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
