people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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