whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I want her autograph on my taint
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
