so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
