You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
