Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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