If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
