I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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