is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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