Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He? As in you personified your dick?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
