So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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