You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
ugly people sure do ruin things
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
