I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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