Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You're a waste of cheezeits
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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