wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Randomize