I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
