So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
