I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Your dad touched me again.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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