I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i think i scared a bird with my dick
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
