I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
