I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
