I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize