I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Randomize
