Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
