I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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