im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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