Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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