Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
