It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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