Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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