You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize