i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
