You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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