i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
