I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
