Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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