I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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