I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I woke up under a house in Key West
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